a flame

I know a fellow blogger (go to www.reclaimedchurch.org) with a capacity for complexity, sensitivity, and depth that extends beyond the scope what I have experienced so far. Perhaps I have the capacity but I've not discovered all the sensitive crevasses in the depth of it. He posed the question, "Who am I?" I wrestled with it and might have pulled a muscle or two in the process. At first I made a mental list of all the labels, words, roles, and hats that I wear. Some of the hats fit me better than others, some of the colors were even more appealing. Some of the labels stung a little and when I went to pull them off, the sticky backings left their messy residue behind. The roles became overwhelming and I had this irrational desire to rebel against them... but the roles still paid my bills - thus the irrationality of the idea. My mind was racing in circles with the words that it was creating until the madness became silence. And then I fell asleep. "Who am I?" Sleep answered that question for me. I am a single flame. I'm designed to give off warmth for the benefit of others. I am capable of growing into a blazing fire, if kindled and encouraged and combined with other elements. I can bring light into darkness that wants to receive it. I'm designed to create and influence. I was designed to pass it on - as I have done so with my son. He now carries a portion of my flame and he's blazing quite a trail, with a torch that he holds strong and high. I'm sure there are many other uses for a flame, but that's all that silence gave me last night. Hopefully I will learn to listen to her more often, and when silence comes to visit again, I will be ready to receive.