Batter up!

There are things that once lost, simply can not be replaced. New things, ideas, dreams, and hopes can grow in their place or they might choose to grow in entirely new places altogether. Coldplay's,"Fix You," gently reminded me of that tonight. I listened through tears as the water bent the lyrics and made them sting.  Then "The Scientist" and all its' glory, interrupted the torrential downpour. Reflection of broken smiled back at me. The words, strung together with their notes, were a magical anesthetic for painful bleeding gone awry.  I sat and waited for the full impact of their meaning, their purpose and their design to sink into the cracks that I heard forming in the core of my chest.  The sound like the moment you toss a handful of ice cubes into a glass of warm ice tea... The cracking takes awhile to stop. But once there's balance in temperature and the shock is accepted, and the ice settles, there's peace. And then the combination of it all delivers relief. Thirst is quenched. Palates are awoken. And absorption takes place. Similar to the journey that my soul is on right now. There's so much going on all at once that it actually yields simplicity.  Through the chaos, I've hoped to glimpse both the end of the familiar and the beginning of the unknown.  I admit I've tried to jump, climb, run, turn, stop, dig and even to crawl,  but no matter what,  I can't see what's at the end of the road. But what I do see is the Hand of a loving God holding me up as I lean hard into Him and nothing I do, or don't do, seems to alarm Him. He just looks at me and whispers, "it's okay child it's okay." And for tonight, that's exactly what I need.