Unwritten

it's been a long time coming.

what was coming, was not at all what i expected.

i still don't actually know what 'it' really is.

but rather than try to name 'it' or harness 'it,' i am just going to be it be.

be what it is supposed to be ... what it chooses to be... when it wants to be.

for over a year now, it has been waiting to make its' move.

and now it's back.

with perfectly manicured claws, a fire in its' eyes and an unbridled passion in its' breath, it lunged at me and sank its' teeth in deep!

it delivered hard & fast... through pain; not the glamorized kind of wallpaper-pain,  but a kind of pain that tears at old scars and commands healing on a deeper, intentionally avoided level.

so i decided to go there

and this is what i found.


stories- written but untold ... unheard and unseen.

secrets - festering and cold ... blistering and aching.

friendships - wandering and disloyal ... confused and dishonoring

humor - unfiltered and heavy ... disregarding and at my expense

respect - lost and diminished ... desperate and twisted

promises - made and broken .... avoided and deconstructed


so i spent some time with each.

i listened.

and i grieved their loss.

i embraced the space that they each once held


and i filled the cracks with Gold.

the Gold of empathy and grace

the Gold of forgiveness and freedom

the Gold of scissors cutting and fire burning

the color of Gold that doesn't settle for less, absorbing and reflecting

the kind of solidarity that only Gold can promise


self-love sticks and stays

safety makes promises and rabbit holes are filled from the inside out

wild running calms and focuses

and i am choosing to stay

something certainly new

something .....

unwritten.