Bruised, not Broken

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Wow that is so much easier said than done!

But okay, let's go there!

Admittedly, my heart does feel a little troubled; It's probably always felt that way; For dozens of reasons; In several dozen different ways.

My heart thinks on things; Things that don't have words to express them. So they stay trapped. Confined. Searching for a way out. My heart feels grief for the loss of loved ones, dreams, hopes and plans. And at the exact time, my heart feels an overwhelming Love for it's Creator, for those who pour into it, and for those who it wants to pour into. There's an overflow from my heart that bleeds trouble in the most wonderful of ways!

And oh, the feeling of Afraid! It's not the paralyzing kind of feeling that backs me into a corner or sends me running to a secret hiding spot for safety. It's not that kind of feeling at all! Instead, it's exhilarating and dares me to lean in, hard! Faith has a way of doing that. She smiles from around corners and whispers, "We got this!"

I'm not even sure I'd be myself if I wasn't feeling at least a little afraid during every minute of everyday! And frankly, I don't want that feeling to ever disappear. The feeling of afraid has a way of keeping me on my knees. Deeply dependent on the Lord. Deeply connected. Daring me to be courageous!

I'm still reconciling the details that surround that encouraging verse. And the truth is, I may have to wrestle with it awhile longer. But I do know this.

I don't mind bruises. I don't mind being stretched beyond my comfort zone. And I certainly don't mind what Afraid feels like as it creeps through my veins. The cracks that result from broken hearts and shattered dreams are healing and getting stronger and being replaced with the hope of blue.

And there's this space out there ... "Beyond the Blue" ... that commands to be explored, experienced, felt, and recognized. It's filled with Grace and Joy and Love and wild adventures!

And although I'm bruised up a little, I'm definitely not broken.

So in the words of Faith, " We got this!"